You Get What You Expect – Part 2

Yesterday I shared a story of how Jim Vaught, my middle school basketball coach and math teacher, taught me to embrace high expectations for myself.

I cannot imagine where my life would be today if it weren’t for Jim Vaught and so many others like him. As I mentioned, such people saw positive things in me that I often could not see myself. Even more, they challenged me to become the best “Kent” I could be.

One of the greatest things about embracing high expectations for yourself is that you don’t need to be extra smart, have extra money, or be extra good looking. The only thing you need is the belief that you can be more, do more, and achieve more. (I know this last phrase might sound cliche-ish; but honestly, the pursuit of being more, doing more, and achieving more is what brings about personal growth and development.)

With that said, there is one tool that I have found to be the most powerful in helping me embrace high expectations for myself. And what is surprising about this tool is it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with other people.

Wondering what this tool is?

It’s doing what Jim Vaught did for me…it’s inspiring and equipping others!

I have found that the more I help others embracing high expectations for themselves, the more I grow in my ability to embrace high expectations for myself. As Zig Ziglar is famous for saying, “You can have anything you want in life just as long as you help enough people get what they want in life.”

So, if you are interested in inspiring and equipping others to embrace high expectations for themselves, here are a few tips that might help:

  • Be specific—Giving a pat on the back and saying, “Way to go,” only works if your compliment is connected with something specific.
  • Be honest—Inspiration is not the same as false flattery. True inspiration is rooted in authentic, meaningful, and appropriate insight. That insight can come in the form of both encouragement and challenges, and often it is the challenges that have the biggest impact in our lives (again, read the story of how Jim Vaught positively impacted me by challenging me).
  • Be personal—The more individually focused your encouragement and challenges are, the more powerful they will be for the recipient. What’s more, the more you “speaks a person’s language,” the more likely he or she is going to hear what you have to say.

 

 

  • Anonymous

    I believe you used these tactics with me and they WORKED! When you and I talked last month, you told me that people are drawn to me and they will want to hear what I have to say – it spoke to a inner part of me that was hiding and afraid to come out. Then when you said, “Alana, you have GOT to get OVER this!” (referencing my fear that no one cared what I had to say) it triggered my fighting spirit and I chose to fight against the lies that have been keeping me silent for so long. 

    As a result, I’ve had around 10-15 emails, text messages and comments from people telling me specific ways that I am inspiring them in THEIR lives through my blog. One woman read my blog post and was so inspired she started her own blog THAT DAY. 

    Kent, your principals work. Your inspiration to me has radically changed my world. 

    Thank you!

    • http://www.liveitforward.com Kent Julian

      Thanks for blessing me today, Alana!

      And these principles work because they are “real success principles.” Like you, I’m just tapping into them for my own life and work. Everyone has access to success principles…the key is whether people apply them or not.

  • Marianne Clements

    Kent,

    I heard about that experiment.  I also read your story about Jim in your book “From the Inside Out”.  I totally agree that we will get what we expect.  Of course I see a Biblical principle in everything.  I see this as reaping and sowing.  If we want friends, then we have to sow friendship.  If we want success, we have to sow success. 

    Have a Victorious Day!
    Marianne Clements

    • http://www.liveitforward.com Kent Julian

      Reap what you sow…those are some great words! The law of the harvest taught by the greatest harvester :)