I don’t like messing up. In fact, I hate it!
Let me be clear. I make my fair share of blunders and missteps every single day, so what I’m talking about here isn’t those mistakes like miscalculating my bank balance, posting a blog with 2 or 3 grammatical errors, or forgetting to pick up something at the store. What I’m talking about is really blowing it—dropping the ball, intentionally or unintentionally, in some major way.
This is the kind of mess up I hate!
Additionally, if I make major mistakes on projects or tasks, that’s bad. However, when a mess up involves other people…that is the worst.
Recently, I blew it when making a decision. The decision itself wasn’t bad, but I dropped the ball in communicating the decision. As I’ve attempted to work through this mistake, I’ve thought quite a bit about what I did wrong, what I could have done differently, and how important the right response is when a mistake is made.
All that to say, I hope the following will help you mess up less, or help you better navigate those times when you do blow it.
WHAT I DID WRONG
Like I said, the decision I made wasn’t wrong, but I dropped the ball in communicating it. Without sharing too much information, the bottom line is I waited too long to inform a person regarding what was happening. My lack of communication ended up communicating that I didn’t respect or care about this individual…two things that are not true, but two things that were rightly felt by this person because of my lack of action.
WHAT I COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY
What I should have done was step into this person’s shoes. If I had, I would have clearly seen how important this issue was to the individual. And let me get gut level honest…it’s not like I needed to be a private investigator to figure this out. I simply didn’t pay attention.
HOW TO RESPOND WHEN A MISTAKE IS MADE
Here are some things I try to do when I blow it. They don’t always resolve the problem (no action can guarantee that), but they do cause me to own my mistake and take responsibility for my actions.
- Run at the problem. Once I realize I’ve blown it, I run at the problem, not away from it. I try to face up to the situation and meet it head-on rather than trying to avoid it. In fact, avoidance, whether intentional or not, is often the reason a problem starts in the first place, so more of the same isn’t going to bring about a solution.
- Take ownership by asking for forgiveness. I don’t just say, “I’m sorry.” I ask for forgiveness. There is something powerful in going beyond just telling someone I am sorry and instead humbling myself and asking the person to do something for me that I don’t deserve. Whether a person forgives me or not, asking for forgiveness is my way of really owning my mistake.
- Make amends. If there is something I can do to make amends, I offer to do that.
- Don’t get stuck. Sometimes a person refuses to forgive me. If this happens, it’s in everyone’s best interest, overtime, to continue to try to foster resolution. However, if resolution doesn’t come about, there’s not much more I can do. And while I dislike “unresolved issues,” I cannot allow myself to be controlled by another person. Therefore, there comes a time I have to simply say, “There’s nothing more I can do,” and move on. It’s not the best alternative, but it is the best alternative given the situation.
- Keep it to yourself. It’s one thing to get advice from a trusted friend on how to best handle a situation, it’s another thing to share details with every curious person who has a pulse.
- Learn and grow. Successful people continually learn and grow, and they grow more from the mistakes they make than through the successes they experience. So while I hate blowing it, I’m not going to waste a mistake by not learning and growing from it.
I hope these thoughts help. As I said, these ideas don’t always resolve an issue, but I have found them to be empowering in that they help me take 100% responsibility for the mistakes I make, and they help me be proactive in trying to resolve an issue.
