I share a lot of my personal thoughts on success via this blog. Thoughts on success for business. Thoughts on success for personal development. Thoughts on success for life in general. Of all the thoughts on success I share, none are more important than the thoughts on success for relationships. Relationships are what makes life rich, full, and meaningful; hence, thoughts on success for relationships are of the utmost importance.
When it comes to thoughts on success for relationships, perhaps nothing can hinder a relationship more than saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. Sort of like Brian Regan comedy routine “You Too and Stuff,” only worse (his routine is at the end of this blog—hilarious!).
Recently, I said the wrong thing at the wrong time. It was only a 3-minute conversations, but if I could have a do-over, I’d definitely redo those 3 minutes. To save you from having to make the same mistake I made, here are 5 things I learned from this experience about watching what I say, how I say it, and when I say it.
Opinions Are Like Nose Hairs, Everyone Has Them. My 3-minute blunder revolved around a difference of opinions. Looking back, both opinions were valid. What’s more, I wish I would have given my friend’s opinion as much value in the heat of the moment as I gave my own opinion; it would have saved the headache I caused both of us.
If You’re Tired, Be Extra Careful…You Might Just Be An Idiot. A bit of background to my 3-minute brain meltdown. I was tired; very tired! This is not an excuse because I know that when I’m tired I need to be more aware of my tendency to insert my foot into my mouth. So here’s a rule to never forget…one of the first thoughts on success for relationships is to always (and I mean always) think before you speak, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOUR TIRED!
Even If You Think You’re Right, You’re Usually Wrong. In the heat of the moment, I thought I was “more right” than my friend. Again, looking back I realize I wasn’t. Yet even if I had been, there is a right way and a wrong way to be right. Note to self…a quick-tempered response dripping with sarcasm is definitely not the right way to be right.
Even If You Win An Argument, You Usually Lose. Nobody won the short argument I’m desribing, but even if one of us technically won, we probably both would still have lost (I know I did). Like Brian Regan in the comedy routine below, I said several things I wish I could take back. Nothing “evil” or “wrong,” but the tone was harsh and the opinions were self-centered. What’s more, I know my friend will be hesitate to discuss the topic in the future, at least for a while, and this topic is very important in our relationship.
Even If You Seek Forgiveness, There Is Still Damage. One of the few things I have going for me is that I’m pretty quick to realize and admit when I’ve been an idiot. Call it a gift that I’ve gained from being an idiot often. Anyway, when I realized how damaging this 3-minute conversation was between my friend and me, I quickly apologized and asked my friend to forgive me. Forgiven was granted and grace extended, but damage had already been done. As I said above, my friend will likely be hesitant to talk about this subject in the future. Always remember, to forgive and forget is easier said than done, even for the best among us.
Bottom line, I wish I would have shut my yapper. I’m learning and growing, I just wish I could do so without causing pain to friends whose relationships I value greatly.
Any thoughts on success for relationships you’d like to share? What lessons have you learned? Let’s learn and grow together!